When you have to learn how to be thankful for the bigger picture in your life but cant figure out how to let go of all the negative that has happened up to this point. it makes for a very difficult time. I have everything I ever wanted and more. I cant help but stick to the negative mentality that I don’t deserve it and so I don’t enjoy it. Instead I try and self sabotage my life. Its going to ruin everything if I don’t stop thinking like this. Ive been so damaged that im letting it control my life. Im taking a break soon. I need to find myself again.. find me. I used to be so smiley and love life. I feel so drained. I need to stop doing everything for everyone else and start doing things I enjoy again.