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Yesterday we decide that we are going to tie the knot finally after three years. We are eloping. I decided it would be best to call my mom and let her know since she said she would at least like to know.  Upon telling her this, she of course wanted to plan something for us, a reception. She can’t be here to celebrate so she wants to do something nice.

Of course with this came a huge fight with the fiancé. He wanted it just to be us and it turned into a huge power struggle. That has continued this morning as well. I don’t even want to deal with the bullshit anymore. I am leaving my family to move to another country for him. Why can’t he just shut up and smile and say ” that’s great babe” instead of being an ass. He’s getting everything he wants and I’m the one sacrificing everything. I’m leaving my family, my friends, my life here. I am so mad and frustrated right now. When things like this happen, I would rather just skip the wedding all together. All my feelings get shot down. I’m not getting the dream wedding I want so we can live in the same damn country.

I get bitched at because it isn’t fair to his family that can’t attend etc. Who the hell can make it too a wedding in three weeks when they don’t have money or passports for flights? We spent Christmas down there. My family missed my sons first Christmas.. his did not. He never cared before about his family being there etc. Now it’s a huge deal. He isn’t close with his family like my family is. We are loud and we see each other weekly. His family has had 2.5 years to get passports and haven’t yet. Lots of his family refuse to fly too, so how the hell does that work???

 

I just don’t even know if this is worth the battle anymore. The distance has affect everything in our relationship. I put our son first and now that’s all I focus on is him. So many battles… I’m exhausted.

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