It started in 2007, I came across his profile online. I sent him a message and we chatted about nothing in particular. A few years had passed and we kept in touch here and there when we saw one another’s profile. Until 2010, he made a cocky comment online about how you would be lucky enough to get his phone number to text him. I immediately wrote back and said that he would be lucky if he received a text message from me. He then sent me his number and I texted him. I made some snarky remark about how much of a cocky person he is. We never stopped talking after that. We texted one another all day. We soon started to Skype as well. As the time passed with numerous attempts to meet.

I was finally going to visit in the USA that fall, near his location. Another man had requested my presences and I had no idea that he was into me. I went and I had a wonderful weekend with said man. Then Mr. Cocky, came and met me out of his own accord. Then everything blew up in my face. I had two men fighting over me.. I needed to choose. I chose Mr. Cocky. He came to visit me that winter.  We started dating that January. Little did I know that I would become pregnant 4 months later. After years of being told from health professionals that I may in fact never have children. It was a shock.. perhaps a good one. 

As the time passed, our relationship took a toll. Living in two separate countries was hard enough dating, let alone with a child. Numerous things happened 6 months after I gave birth. He decided he wasn’t ready to commit and be a parent. He broke things off the night before he flew home. Shortly after his arrival home, he had a woman come job shadow. He wanted to work on things with us, yet he decided to keep her job shadowing to himself.  This woman had a child no older than our child. She took it upon herself to start writing him love letters and sending him lingerie in the mail. He never responded to her, or so he says. As I write this… I am still seething over this and it’s been five months since. Everyone including himself, said there was nothing going on with them. I even messaged this woman and she told me to trust what he said. F**king homewreckers. Honestly, If you know someone is in a relationship and tells you so. Stay the f**k out of the relationship. I am not saying that it isn’t he’s fault at all. He should have told me about her job shadowing and he should have made it clear to her more than once about our relationship.

But that seems to be the thing about guys, they don’t see how we see other woman. I, myself can tell the difference between a lying piece of trash and an honest woman.

Now the question is, Can I learn to forget and move on? Am I only staying in the relationship cause of our child?

At what point is trust completely irreparable??